A Very Sad Day

Last night I learned from a dear friend that our former classmate and close friend William Loyola has died. A few days before he passed away, he had a stroke and went into a coma. Another close friend told me that the doctor gave him just 48 hours to live, though he exceeded that time, his body eventually gave in and succumbed to death. I never stopped praying since the day I've learned of his condition, hoping that God would give him another chance, but ultimately our tenure on earth is in God's hand.

This had me thinking about life, and about the future, not just mine, but also of my loved ones, friends, and basically everyone who I know and don't know. What does the Word of God say about life and our future here on this temporary place called earth? Here are verses from Psalms 39: 4-7 which I've read a few days ago. This will remind us how very short and fragile man's life is, and whom we should put our hope and trust to.

"LORD, remind me how brief my time on earth will be. Remind me that my days are numbered - how fleeting my life is. You have made my life no longer than the width of my hand. My entire lifetime is just a moment to you; at best, each of us is but a breath.”We are merely moving shadows and all our busy rushing ends in nothing. We heap up wealth, not knowing who will spend it. And so, Lord, where do I put my hope? My only hope is in You."

Last year, another dear friend of mine passed away, and because I was on vacation, I was able to at least see him for the last time. It was so surreal. Until now I can't believe that these two unique individuals are gone forever, never to be seen again. All that's left are memories. Farewell. Praying to God for His comfort for their loved ones and friends.

This photo was taken around 1988 (or 1989). William is at the far right. Right next to him is Nazareno, another friend of mine who died much earlier around 2004 I think, then Mike, and then me. 

It's The Thought That Counts

All along I've been saying I'm crazy about simple things -- much more if it is a gift, and nothing beats the thrill of unwrapping it.The object inside more often than not is immaterial, it is the thought knowing you are special to the gift giver, at least to prove a point, that really matters.

Needless to say, for the first time in my life I sent a gift via Fedex to the most thoughtful and sweetest friend I ever have who happens to be  in France -- proof of which is the gift she sent me last February. These simple things I brought with me from my vacation in the Philippines may not be that storied of monumental proportion that deserved a trip across the Mediterranean but certainly they were well-thought of and heartfelt just as my intentions were. 

One of the two items I sent her was a small rooster figurine  (whose beak unfortunately got detached most likely due to careless handling) and the other was a tee shirt which I bought from a kiosk in a mall that sells Christian tee-shirts. Mind you, it was no ordinary t-shirt with the message emblazoned on it, "Jesus Heals". I have been praying for her because she has some sort of illness that I believe is nothing compared to the power of Jesus. Way to go little rooster and the T and my prayers for you my friend! (the photos below were proof they safely arrived, though not completely sans the little guy's beak. And the video I took in a shop where the T-shirt didn't escape me.)

"I am still wailing over my beak. Wonders how on earth people can be so careless and indifferent that reduced my life to being miserable. "The gesture though of my human tells me there is hope and she would do anything to make me whole again, literally, yehey!!"

"I'm still cute though sans my beak. I could only pray my twin back in the KSA gets a more humane treatment and does not lose his."

Friendship Is A Tree

While I was searching for nice quotations to post on my Facebook shout-out, I came across quotations about friendship, and I can't help but think about some of my old friends. I don't have a lot of friends, most of my friends are my classmates from high school. I still have communications with some of them, but it's not the same anymore compared during our salad days.

Sometimes I ask myself, Are my friends really are my friends? Or are they what others called fair-weather friends? I must admit something did change when a storm came my way when the sun stopped shining on me for a while, and yes it did hurt. And I made a decision not to see some of them anymore. One thing I hate is being pitied at. I always believe that in friendship, all should be equal regardless of your financial status. Nobody should be higher than the other. You don't make friends just because you want to make them your personal assistant or something, and I don't intend to jump around and ask for his attention no matter how big he is. There's a saying, which I read from somewhere, and I quote, "Don't make him a priority if he only thinks of you as an option". So true.

Years ago, some of my so-called friends did something bad to me, yet I forgave them and tried to understand the reasons why they did it, but although we mended the pieces of our broken friendship, you can not really hide the cracks on it. And friendship is also like a tree, it takes time for it to grow. It needs sunlight, water, and care before it can be a massive towering tree, and without them, the tree will stop growing, and worse the tree will die. That is how fragile a friendship is.

Two of my friends did a terrible thing to me years ago. It was heartbreaking for me when I found out about it. The first one, he neither confessed nor say sorry for what he did, and until now he still claims that he is innocent even though all of the evidence were pointing at him. The other one, a godfather of one of my daughters, confessed and cried before me, and said sorry while we were having a beer, and so I forgave him, who am I not to forgive. But a couple of years ago, prior to my coming to Saudi Arabia in 2006, he seemed indifferent, for whatever reason, I do not know. I don't want to elaborate more about it, as it was so complicated. It was a year ago when I last talked to him, he called me here, and we talked for a few minutes, I can tell he only called me to brag the fact that he's in Australia and that he's found a new job there. I don't hate him, but because I was so disappointed at him, I don't want to see him for a few more years.

For me one of the most important thing in friendship is trust. Once your trust is violated, then it's the end of it. No friendship can survive without it, it would be like a huge, dark rain cloud that brings no rain. I want a friend who I can share my secrets with, and would promise not to tell a soul, a friend who will wait for me at the bottom and ready to catch me when I fall, a friend who would understand my shortcomings for I am not perfect, a friend who will be there, not just in happy times, but also when I'm in trouble, and a friend who respects me as an individual.

I hope my current friends whom I haven't seen for quite some time now would realize how deep the root of the tree is, and don't just cut the massive and towering tree which is yet to bear flowers and fruits.

"Friendship is a tree,

to take shelter from the storm,

to find shade from the blazing sun,

to climb its branches to get a better view,

and to swing from when we're happy."

~ From James Cusick's Blog,

I Dreamt of Nazareno

Last night I dreamt of my friend Nazareno Convento. We were friends since first grade at Saint Mary Magdalene School. I remember as a child (around 10 or 11 years old) we used to do some foolish things, like walking from Ligtong to Cavite City by the beach, just for the fun of it. I remember both our parents were furious when they found out that we were there in Cavite City, because we didn't tell them about it. We were so afraid that time from our parents.

Nazareno was so funny, full of humor but at the same time I can tell that he was hiding some anger inside but just not showing it. The rest of the "barkada" (a group of friends) used to make fun of his name, because his name Nazareno means Nazarene and his surname Convento means Convent in English and what's even funnier was, he had dark skin like the "Black Nazarene" of Quiapo. So you see, nobody can be holier than that. But amidst all the jokes about his name and appearance, he just laughed about it. He knew that we didn't mean to hurt his feelings, just a barkada thing.

About the dream, I saw him inside a room full of people, who were supposedly my friends. I was looking at him from outside the room. He smiled and waved at me, then he stood and walked away from my sight, then I woke up. I don't know what it meant. But may be he was trying to tell me something?

The last time I saw Nazareno was 1998, if I remember it correctly. In 1999 I came here in Saudi Arabia to work and when I went back to the Philippines for my vacation in 2004, I called him up and talked to him. I invited him to visit me and to have a beer or two while talking about our lives etc... but he declined, I knew something was happening to him, it seemed like he has changed, not the Nazareno I knew. Even before I called him up, I kept on hearing a lot of bad things about him from our mutual friends, they said that he was addicted to drugs (Ice or Shabu) and was having some other personal problems.

My vacation was over and I didn't get a chance to meet him. I thought that may be he had already forgotten me. It was May 28, 2004, my flight back to Jeddah. After two weeks upon my arrival, I heard from my father that Nazareno has died. His father shot him twice in his room and then escaped. But then after a week, his father was shot in the head inside a cock fighting arena, probably in retaliation by other family members.

Wherever you are my friend, you are not forgotten.

* [Picture] Nazareno is at the last row second from left. I'm at the front row (sitting) third from right.