Saturday, January 30, 2010

Friendship Is A Tree

While I was searching for a nice quotations to post on my Facebook shout-out, I came across quotations about friendship, and I can't help but to think about some of my old friends. I don't have a lot of friends, most of my friends are my classmates from high school. I still have communications with some of them, but it's not the same anymore compared during our salad days.

Sometimes I ask myself, Are my friends really are my friends? Or are they what others called fair-weather friends? I must admit something did change when a storm came my way, when the sun stopped shining on me for a while, and yes it did hurt. And I made a decision not to see some of them anymore. One thing I hate is being pitied at. I always believe that in friendship, all should be equal regardless of your financial status. Nobody should be higher than the other. You don't make friends just because you want to make them your personal assisstant or something, and I don't intend to jump around and ask for his attention no matter how big he is. There's a saying, which I read from somewhere, and I qoute, "Don't make him a priority if he only thinks of you as an option". So true.

Years ago, some of my so-called friends did something bad to me, yet I forgave them and tried to understand the reasons why they did it, but although we mended the pieces of our broken friendship, you can not really hide the cracks on it. And friendship is also like a tree, it takes time for it to grow. It needs sunlight, water and caring, before it can be a massive towering tree, yet, without them the tree will die and that is how fragile a friendship is.

Two of my friends did a terrible thing to me years ago. It was heart-breaking for me when I found out about it. The first one, he neither confessed nor say sorry for what he did, and until now he still claims that he is innocent even though all of the evidences were pointing at him. The other one, a godfather of one of my daughters, confessed and cried before me, and said sorry while we were having beer, and so I forgave him, who am I not to forgive. But a couple of years ago, prior to my coming to Saudi Arabia in 2006, he seemed indifferent, for whatever reason , I do not know. I don't want to elaborate more about it, as it was so complicated. It was a year ago when I last talked to him, he called me here, and we talked for a few minutes, I can tell he only called me to brag the fact that he's in Australia and that he's found a new job there. I don't hate him, but because I was so disappointed at him, I want to see him for a few years.

For me one of the most important things in friendship is trust. Once your trust is violated, then it's the end of it. No friendship can survive without it, it's like a huge, dark rain cloud that brings no rain. I want a friend who I can share my secrets to, and would promise not to tell a soul, a friend who will wait for me at the bottom and ready to catch me when I fall, a friend who would understand my shortcomings for I am not perfect, a friend who will be there, not just in happy times, but also when I'm in trouble, and a friend who respects me as an individual.

I hope my remaining friends whom I haven't seen for quite sometime now would realize how deep the root of the tree is, and don't just cut the massive and towering tree which is yet to bear flowers and fruits.

"Friendship is a tree,
to take shelter from the storm,
to find shade from the blazing sun,
to climb its branches to get a better view,
and to swing from when we're happy."


NFB said...

Nice post! The message conveyed is timeless...Friendship indeed is a tree.

isladenebz said...

Basta usapin ng friendship, ay, solve ako dyan. I keep telling my friends that there are only two kinds of people in my life: my friends and my acquiantances. Siguro tatlo lang ang mabibilang kong kaibigan sa buhay. Sila ung hindi ko na kailangan pang magsalita kung wala akong pera dahil alam nila agad kung wala akong pera (and vice versa). Silang ung sa tuwing uuwi ako sa Pinas, nauuna pang tumawag sa bahay to ask if I arrived safely (and vice versa. Silang ung sinasabihan ko ng mga dark secrets ko knowing na kahit i-torture sila e hindi sila magsasalita laban sa akin (and vice versa). Sila ung hindi ko kinahihiyaang iyakan if I feel like crying. Sila rin ung nakakaalam kaagad kung ano ang nasa loob ko kahit hindi ako nagsasalita.

They are my trees, my shade, my shelter.

Pero siempre, ang kaisa-isang friend ko sa buhay na alam kong kahit na iwan ako nung tatlo e mananatili sa tabi ko ever: si Jesus. Kahit nagagalit ako, kahit nagtatampo ako, lagi pa rin Syang nakangiti at nagbibigay ng suporta. Even if I don't deserve it.

Noel Ablon said...

Ganda ng iyong post. Magandang comparison ang friendship to a tree. If your friendship is founded with trust like you said, the roots will be deeper which means di basta-basta mabubuwal. If ever storm comes and friendship didn't withstand the storm then the friendship is not that deep.

Like you said, friendship when you grow older becomes different lalo if each of you have their own families. Right-now their are two best friends in my life. Jesus and my beloved wife.

It's not too late to have NEW friends. Bro, since we are both in Jeddah, why don't we find some time to gather a few Jeddah bloggers like us and meet in one place (I prefer Jollibee-Sarawat gitna kasi hehehe!). If ever meron ka pang kilalang mga taga-Jeddah na bloggers, hope we could all meet and be guest on each others blog hehe! and picture-picture hehe!

Ano sa tingin mo? New crowd?

Right now di pa ako makakasagot pero let's definitely meet, mas marami mas masaya.

Pepe Cabrera said...

Thank you Noel for visiting my blog. OO nga, magandang mag meet, kaya lang medio mahiyain ako at alangan sa ibang tao na 'di ko kakilala masiado, feeling ko kasi para akong out of place, may be that's the reason why don't have a lot of friends, takot yata ako sa tao hahaha!

Gaya ng sabi mo, ako din 'di pa makakasagot, pero that would be a very good idea!