Saturday, January 30, 2010

Friendship Is A Tree

While I was searching for nice quotations to post on my Facebook shout-out, I came across quotations about friendship, and I can't help but think about some of my old friends. I don't have a lot of friends, most of my friends are my classmates from high school. I still have communications with some of them, but it's not the same anymore compared during our salad days.

Sometimes I ask myself, Are my friends really are my friends? Or are they what others called fair-weather friends? I must admit something did change when a storm came my way when the sun stopped shining on me for a while, and yes it did hurt. And I made a decision not to see some of them anymore. One thing I hate is being pitied at. I always believe that in friendship, all should be equal regardless of your financial status. Nobody should be higher than the other. You don't make friends just because you want to make them your personal assistant or something, and I don't intend to jump around and ask for his attention no matter how big he is. There's a saying, which I read from somewhere, and I quote, "Don't make him a priority if he only thinks of you as an option". So true.

Years ago, some of my so-called friends did something bad to me, yet I forgave them and tried to understand the reasons why they did it, but although we mended the pieces of our broken friendship, you can not really hide the cracks on it. And friendship is also like a tree, it takes time for it to grow. It needs sunlight, water, and care before it can be a massive towering tree, and without them, the tree will stop growing, and worse the tree will die. That is how fragile a friendship is.

Two of my friends did a terrible thing to me years ago. It was heartbreaking for me when I found out about it. The first one, he neither confessed nor say sorry for what he did, and until now he still claims that he is innocent even though all of the evidence were pointing at him. The other one, a godfather of one of my daughters, confessed and cried before me, and said sorry while we were having a beer, and so I forgave him, who am I not to forgive. But a couple of years ago, prior to my coming to Saudi Arabia in 2006, he seemed indifferent, for whatever reason, I do not know. I don't want to elaborate more about it, as it was so complicated. It was a year ago when I last talked to him, he called me here, and we talked for a few minutes, I can tell he only called me to brag the fact that he's in Australia and that he's found a new job there. I don't hate him, but because I was so disappointed at him, I don't want to see him for a few more years.

For me one of the most important thing in friendship is trust. Once your trust is violated, then it's the end of it. No friendship can survive without it, it would be like a huge, dark rain cloud that brings no rain. I want a friend who I can share my secrets with, and would promise not to tell a soul, a friend who will wait for me at the bottom and ready to catch me when I fall, a friend who would understand my shortcomings for I am not perfect, a friend who will be there, not just in happy times, but also when I'm in trouble, and a friend who respects me as an individual.

I hope my current friends whom I haven't seen for quite some time now would realize how deep the root of the tree is, and don't just cut the massive and towering tree which is yet to bear flowers and fruits.

"Friendship is a tree,
to take shelter from the storm,
to find shade from the blazing sun,
to climb its branches to get a better view,
and to swing from when we're happy."